How To Set Yourself Up For Success: Best TIPS foR fINDING lONG-Term Recovery
For a long time, I was stuck in the exhausting cycle of white-knuckling it. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean.
White-knuckling is when you’re trying to stay sober purely by willpower, clenching your fists and holding on for dear life. I wasn’t actively working on my recovery, I was just surviving it.
My recovery has been built on hard lessons, repeated mistakes, and the willingness to keep trying till I got it right.
I reached a point, where I knew something had to change. The shift came when I realized that my recovery couldn’t just be about resisting temptation—it had to be about actively building a new life that supported and celebrated my sobriety. That’s when everything clicked, and I started putting in the work to change the dynamic.
Here’s what I did that made the difference—and what you can do to set yourself up for long-term sobriety success:
1. sitting with your shit
One of the most important things I had to learn, and probably the hardest, was having to sit with my own shit.
For so long, I tried to escape everything or numb it out—whether through drugs, alcohol, or any distraction I could find.
I was constantly, and somewhat unknowingly, always searching for something to fill the void, never allowing myself to just be.
I had to find a balance between not isolating myself and turning to support when I needed it, but also learning how to sit comfortably in my own company.
This meant confronting the discomfort, not drowning in it, and facing the emotions I had long buried.
I used to always have to be doing something, trying to distract myself from what was really going on. I struggled to relax or take time for myself to wind down. It wasn’t until I forced myself to stop and sit with my thoughts—without friends, without noise—that I began doing the real internal work.
Learning how to process and digest your thoughts and feelings is not done in the snap of a finger. Keep showing up for yourself. Journaling has become an incredible outlet for me, helping me get out what I couldn’t express otherwise. If you’re interested and want to start daily journaling you can read more here.
Taking time alone, sitting with my thoughts, and letting myself feel everything I had been running from, was essential for my growth. Staying sober became a bit easier, when I started sorting out all of the sour emotions tied to me picking up in the first place.
It's a critical practice for anyone aiming for long-term sobriety, because avoiding your emotions only delays healing. You need to give yourself time to reflect, to understand what's really going on, and do the work that will help keep you grounded.
Side Note: Be easy on yourself. Sitting in your own company, to some, might seem like a luxury. Peaceful even. When you come from a long road of trauma, heartache, addiction, abuse, or what have you, the quiet can easily become loud.
Take care of you. Listen to your body. Reach out and talk to someone about what you are feeling and experiencing. Take steps (no matter how small) forward. The discomfort and weight of it all gets easier. I promise.
2. Stop Trying to Fit In Where You Don’t Belong
One of the biggest hurdles in early recovery was feeling left out, especially in social situations where drinking and using was the norm. I used to go out with friends who were drinking, trying to make my way through the night, feeling out of place. I realized that this constant exposure to temptation wasn’t helping me. Like at all.
It’s important to give yourself permission to step away from environments that don’t support your sobriety. Find new places, new groups, and new activities that align with your goals. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have to avoid certain settings, but in the beginning, it’s critical to protect your space. Why make things harder than they have to be? Right?
3. Fill Your Time with Purpose
I didn’t know what to do with all the time I used to spend using or recovering from my binges. That void used to be very dangerous for me, until I started to see it as an opportunity.
Fill your time with things that give you joy, purpose, and growth. Whether it’s a new hobby, physical activity, or diving into something creative, the key is to keep yourself busy in a positive way.
Take time to invest in your mental health or learn something new. Find things that make you feel alive, and do them often. For a long time, I had myself convinced that I would never fully enjoy life or feel joy without the presence of drugs or alcohol involved. That was a lie.
But, you do have to try. I spent so long with drugs and alcohol being involved in everything that I did, that I wasn’t even sure what I enjoyed anymore. Nothing seemed like a good time if I was sober. Nothing sparked my interest. I had to push myself to try. Slowly but surely, I came across things that I genuinely enjoyed doing, and still do.
Find what makes you happy and dive into it. Rediscover the simple joys in life, like waking up clear-headed on a Saturday morning or remembering every detail of a fun night with friends. Joy is still there—it just looks a little different now.
4. Do the Work for Your Recovery
Being sober, and being in recovery, are two totally different things. Staying clean is definitely not easy, and something worth patting yourself on the back for. However, it’s the work you do aside from that, that makes true lasting change happen. For a more in depth explanation on the difference between sobriety and recovery click here.
Long- term recovery comes from actively doing the work to heal and grow. Early in my recovery, I thought just staying away from drugs and alcohol would be enough. I was wrong.
Recovery requires building of a strong foundation—whether through therapy, journaling, meetings, or reading books that challenge your mindset. Recovery is such a personal and unique journey for each individual.
The effort you put into yourself and your sobriety comes back ten fold. The more you are willing to change, push yourself, and show up consistently, you will always reap the reward for it. The work you put in to shift your thinking and cope with life’s circumstances, make all the difference in you staying sober for the long-haul.
5. Establishing your ‘star squad”
The people around you play a massive role in your sobriety journey. In the past, I tried to do it alone, thinking I was strong enough to manage without any help. That mindset kept me STUCK. Very stuck, for too long. When I finally stepped out of my comfort zone, reached out for help, and surrounded myself with supportive people, everything changed.
I started going to NA meetings, and though I know they may not be for everyone, they were a huge piece of the puzzle for me.
Find a supportive community that fits your needs—whether it’s attending meetings, connecting with a sponsor, or joining an online recovery group. The key is to be around people who get it, who can offer encouragement, accountability, and shared experiences.
You don’t have to do this alone. I know you have heard that many times before, but truthfully, you don’t have to struggle the way you have been struggling.
To me, the best part about going to meetings and making new connections with others within the recovery community, is that even though we are all struggling with the same problems, it’s the only time and place I felt like I don’t have problems.
I put off meetings for a very long time. I do not do well in new social settings, or with talking to people, especially sober. I’ll save you the time of putting them off yourself. Just do it.
Being around people that enjoy doing things sober, helps it not be at the forefront of your thinking at all times. I notice that being around people that consider my needs, boundaries, and well-being helps eliminate the opportunity for me to fuck up. Find your people.
6. Embrace a New Identity
This was big for me! Drugs and alcohol were a huge part of my identity. It was how I socialized, how I coped, and how I defined myself. Letting go of that identity can feel terrifying at first, but it’s necessary. Embrace your new identity as a person in recovery, and let that guide you.
My sobriety was never something I labeled with pride. I always saw it as downfall. I felt it labeled me as an outcast and as a problem.
Part of setting yourself up for success is accepting that life is going to look different—and that’s a good thing. Find pride in your recovery journey and all the ways it’s transforming you for the better. Sobriety isn’t about what you’re giving up; it’s about all that you’re gaining.
The narrative changed. As I no longer clung to others opinions, and focused on doing better for myself, my confidence grew - both as a woman and in my recovery.
Today, my sobriety is something I am incredibly proud of. It is something you should never diminish. No matter what road you took to get here, or how long you’ve been on your journey - finding your way to a life in recovery is monumental and the loudest person cheering for you, better be you!
Now, I’d love to hear from you! If you’re working towards long-term sobriety, what steps are you taking to set yourself up for success? Are there specific challenges you’re facing, or areas where you’ve been feeling stuck? And if you’re already in long-term sobriety, what were some of the game-changing moments or practices that helped you stay on track?
Whatever it is, I’d love to hear your experiences and what’s worked for you. Let’s share and support each other on this journey! Leave your thoughts in the comments <3
Are you looking for support on your journey to long-term sobriety? Are there areas where you’re feeling stuck or struggling to push through? You don’t have to face this alone. I’m here to offer guidance and help you break free from the obstacles holding you back.
As someone who has been through the challenges of addiction, I am dedicated to helping you find a life free from your current struggles—one filled with joy, strength, and purpose. If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me today. Let’s work together to build the happy, sober life you deserve!
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