How Moving Halfway Across The Country Helped Me Get And Stay Sober

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jUNE 7TH, 2017

The day I received a phone call offering me the opportunity to get off the streets and start over. I’ve never been so scared of the unknown before, but this was something I knew I needed to do, if I wanted to live.

I took a cab to the airport, did the last of my shit in the bathroom, disposed of my needles, said goodbye to my old life, and counted my steps boarding the plane.

Life has a way of pushing us to places we never imagined, and sometimes, it requires a leap of faith to find the path to healing.

For me, that leap was leaving behind my life in upstate New York and moving to central Wisconsin—a move that ultimately saved my life.

But before I found peace in the Midwest, my journey was fraught with struggle, pain, and chaos.

The Years Lost to Addiction

My battle with addiction began in my adolescent years and followed me well into early adulthood. What started as experimentation and “fun” with drugs and alcohol, quickly spiraled out of control.

I spent years caught in the grips of active addiction, which led to the collapse of every meaningful relationship in my life. I burned bridges with family and friends, became entangled in toxic relationships, and even lost custody of my daughter. I was incarcerated for a good amount of time, then eventually found myself homeless, wandering the streets with no direction, no hope, and no sense of who I was anymore.

Addiction robbed me of everything, but perhaps the hardest part was the loss of self. I knew I had hit rock bottom, but I didn’t yet realize that my road to recovery would start by leaving behind the place I had always called home.

Growing Up in a “Normal” Household

To the outside world, my childhood seemed normal. I grew up with both of my parents, who worked hard to provide for me and my brother. Neither of them struggled with substance abuse. In many ways, my childhood was idyllic—something many would consider stable and secure.

But in 2001, everything changed. My parents divorced, and that separation triggered turmoil within me that would be detrimental to my mental health.

Their divorce completely broke our family and everything I had ever known, and the aftermath weighed heavily on me. My mom and dad, both dealing with their own struggles, couldn’t see how deeply their separation and behaviors affected my brother and I. Their emotional baggage became mine to carry, and I found solace in all the wrong places.

I fell into toxic relationships, clinging to old friends and my daughter's father, who also struggled with substance abuse. These relationships only deepened my addiction and kept me trapped in a special kind of hell.

I knew deep down that staying in my hometown, surrounded by the same people and situations that had contributed to my downward spiral, would only keep me locked in that cycle. It was clear that something had to change.

I didn’t have the finances or means on my own, to travel to some far away place, and find peace, and set myself up with a good life.

I am grateful, that by some miracle, I was given the opportunity. I know some might find themselves in the same situation - stuck in an environment/situation that you can’t get yourself out of. As many might not be given the same opportunity that I was, there are still alternatives to starting over…

They just are going to require you to be uncomfortable for a while.

The Opportunity of a Lifetime

In the midst of my darkest days, my 100th rock bottom, and the total end of my rope…. I was given a chance—a lifeline to start over.

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I was offered an opportunity to move to central Wisconsin, get off the streets, and rebuild my life from the ground up. As tempting as it was to stay in the familiar chaos, I knew this was my only chance to truly break free from my past.

The move was terrifying. I was leaving behind everything I knew—my family, my daughter, my history, and the city that had shaped me. But deep down, I knew I had to take that leap of faith, no matter how hard it would be. Removing myself from the environment that had fueled my addiction was the turning point I so desperately needed.

The Turning Point: Time to Heal

Once I made the move, it was like a weight had been lifted. For the first time, I had the space and time to truly work on myself, away from the chaos I had left behind in New York. Wisconsin became my sanctuary, a place where I could begin to heal without the constant reminders of my past failures and mistakes.

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The distance allowed me to reflect on my life and take accountability for my addiction. I didn’t blame anyone else for my choices, but I realized that environment plays a significant role in recovery. When you’re surrounded by toxic influences and harmful relationships, it becomes nearly impossible to break free from the cycle of addiction. Removing myself from that environment gave me the clarity and strength I needed to begin the hard work of rebuilding my life.

A Fresh Start and Unmatched Milestones

Since leaving New York, I’ve continued to reside in Wisconsin, and the milestones I’ve reached here are unmatched. I’ve regained my role as a mother, re-established wonderful relationships with my parents, maintained long-term sobriety, and created a life filled with purpose and peace. I’ve dedicated myself to helping others on their recovery journey, sharing my story in the hopes that it will inspire those who feel like there’s no way out.

It hasn’t been easy. There are days when the distance from my family is hard to bear, and being independent out here can feel isolating at times. But I truly believe that if I hadn’t left New York, I would still be on the same destructive road.

Sometimes, all we need is a fresh start—an opportunity to break free from the past and embrace the future with open arms.

A Message of Hope

Moving to Wisconsin saved my life. It wasn’t just about leaving behind a toxic environment; it was about giving myself the chance to become the person I knew I could be.

If there’s one message I want to leave with anyone struggling in their own darkness, it’s this: sometimes the hardest step to take is the one that leads you away from everything you know. But that step might just be the one that saves your life. Don’t be afraid to start over—there is hope, and there is healing on the other side of fear.

Now, I want to hear from you! Have you ever had to make the difficult decision to move away from home or take steps to separate yourself from a harmful environment? How has your journey of recovery been impacted by those choices? Whether you’ve left behind toxic relationships, moved to a new city, or simply taken a step toward a healthier lifestyle, your story is powerful and can inspire others.

By sharing our experiences, we can learn from one another and build a supportive community where no one feels alone. Recovery is different for everyone, but we all have the same goal—to find peace, healing, and purpose. Let’s lift each other up, remind each other that change is possible, and offer support to those who need it most.

If you’re currently stuck in a situation where you feel like there’s no way out, know that I’m always here to help. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need guidance, someone to talk to, or a little bit of hope to see you through. You don’t have to do it alone—there’s always a way forward, and together, we can find it.