Rise From The Ashes
Rebuilding Yourself After Hardship
Life is filled with its share of trials and tribulations. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a career setback, a health crisis, or any other hardship, these challenges can leave you feeling broken and defeated. No matter how carefully we plan or how diligently we work, there will always be moments where the rug is pulled out from under us, leaving us feeling lost, broken, and uncertain about the path forward.
Tied to these events and troubling times also emerges the opportunity to regain control and completely rebuild yourself.
The process of rebuilding in the wake of hardship can feel daunting and overwhelming. But with the right mindset, strategies, and support, it is possible not just to survive, but to emerge from the ashes stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.
After years of struggling in active addition I felt the ability to regain control of my life was damn near impossible. I had myself highly convinced that I would never make anything of myself. I would never rise above my circumstances. I would never accomplish much of anything outside of the life I was currently living.
After battling severe depression and grief tied to losing several dear friends and family members, to then more recently losing my boyfriend to suicide, I was so sure that I would never be able to go on living my life.
I never in a million years would have believed you in the midst’s of those troubles if you told me I would be where I am today. So, let this be a message of hope to the one who needs it. The hard times you are trudging through are no where near the end of your story.
The key is to approach this journey of rebuilding with self-compassion, patience, and a willingness to do the hard work. It's not about trying to "fix" yourself or return to some idealized version of who you used to be. Rather, it's about honoring the transformation that has occurred and consciously creating a new path forward - one that is authentic, empowered, and aligned with your deepest values and aspirations.
Essential Steps Forward
Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions:
The first step is to create space to fully feel and express the range of emotions you're experiencing - the grief, the anger, the fear, the uncertainty. This might involve journaling, talking to a therapist, or simply allowing yourself to cry when the need arises. Suppressing these feelings will only prolong the healing process.
Reclaim Your Sense of Control:
When life throws us a curveball, it's natural to feel powerless. But it's important to remember that you still have agency over your thoughts, your actions, and the direction of your life. Start by identifying small, manageable steps you can take each day to regain a sense of control and forward momentum.
Establishing Your Support System:
Hardship has a way of revealing who your true allies are. Lean into the relationships and communities that uplift and sustain you, and be willing to let go of those that drain your energy or bring you down. Surround yourself with people who see your strength and potential, even when you can't see it yourself. No one has to go through the process of rebuilding alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group. Sharing your experiences and seeking guidance from others who have been through similar challenges can be immensely helpful.
Reconnect with Your Values:
Take time to reflect on the core principles, beliefs, and priorities that guide your life. What truly matters to you? What kind of person do you want to be? Use this as a North Star to inform the choices you make as you rebuild.
Embrace a Growth Mindset:
Reframe your hardship as an opportunity for growth and transformation, rather than a permanent setback. Approach each challenge as a chance to learn, evolve, and emerge as a wiser, more resilient version of yourself.
Practice Self-Care and Renewal:
Rebuilding requires immense energy and focus. Make sure to balance your efforts with activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit - whether that's meditation, exercise, creative expression, or simply spending time in nature. Self-care is crucial during the rebuilding process. Pay attention to your physical and emotional needs. This may include regular exercise, a healthy diet, mindfulness practices, or seeking therapy to address any lingering trauma. For more helpful tips on personal self-care feel free to click here and access an additional article.
Embracing Resilience
Hardships test your resilience. They push you to the brink and challenge your ability to bounce back. The first step in rebuilding is acknowledging your own resilience. Recognize that you've weathered storms before, and you have the inner strength to face adversity head-on. You can do this shit.
Grieving and Healing
The process of rebuilding often starts with grieving and healing. It's essential to allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with the hardship, whether it's sadness, anger, or confusion. Healing takes time, and it's a necessary part of moving forward. Each individuals healing journey is one of it’s very own. There is no way to “grieve the right way.” Processing and working through heavy emotions takes time. Have patience with yourself. For additional help and insight on grief and healing click here.
Self-Reflection
Hardships often force us to reevaluate our lives. Use this as an opportunity for self-reflection. What have you learned from the experience? What aspects of your life do you want to change or improve? This self-awareness can guide your journey of rebuilding. Being honest with yourself can be one of the most helpful tools you can utilize.
Setting New Goals
After a hardship, your priorities may shift. Set new goals that align with your changed perspective. These goals can serve as beacons of hope and motivation, giving you something to strive for.
Reconnecting with Passion
Rediscover your passions and interests. Engaging in activities you love can reignite your sense of purpose and joy. It's an essential part of rebuilding your identity and well-being.
Embracing Change
Rebuilding often requires adapting to change. This can be challenging, but it also opens the door to new opportunities and growth. Embrace the changes as a chance to craft a life that's more aligned with your values and aspirations. Change can be scary. But if you allow things to be what they are and you truly believe that everything is ultimately working in your favor, then you’re only setting yourself up to receive peace, happiness, and contentment in all stages of your life. Even the unsettling ones.
There will be ups and downs, breakthroughs and setbacks. But with each small step forward, you'll reclaim your power, reconnect with your purpose, and cultivate the resilience to weather any storm that comes your way.
This about to be a journey filled with self-discovery, healing, and transformation for you. Your story of rebuilding is a testament to your resilience, and it can inspire others facing similar challenges to embark on their own journeys of renewal.
Remember, you are not alone. Reach out for support, celebrate your progress, and trust that the comeback is always stronger than the setback. The future that awaits you is brighter than you can imagine!
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Additional Tools & Helpful Resources:
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All Things Are Working for Your Good
Find comfort in dark times and grow your trust and faith in God with this inspiring and insightful guide from Lakewood Church pastor and #1 New York Times bestselling author Joel Osteen.
All of us will go through dark times that we don't understand: a difficulty with a friend, an unfair situation at work, a financial setback, an unexpected illness, a divorce, or the loss of a loved one. Those types of experiences are part of the human journey. But when we find ourselves in such a place, it's important that we keep a positive perspective. Joel Osteen writes that if we stay in faith and keep a good attitude when we go through challenges, we will not only grow, but we will see how all things work together for our good. Through practical applications and scriptural insight, Blessed in the Darkness focuses on how to draw closer to God and trust Him when life doesn't make sense.
Blessed in the Mess: How to Experience God's Goodness in the Midst of Life's Pain
Life is often messy. We hear people say, “My life is a mess,” or “This situation is a mess.” What they mean is that life has become difficult, painful or confusing. But God never promised us a trouble-free life. In fact, His Word tells us to expect the opposite. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (NIV).
In Blessed in the Mess, beloved Bible teacher Joyce Meyer shows us how to be blessed in the midst of life’s most challenging circumstances. The Bible is filled with instructions on how to handle ourselves when difficulty comes our way, and Blessed in the Mess shares that wisdom through poignant and practical teaching that equips us to remain stable and hopeful in every situation. No matter what problems we may face, there is a way to remain joyful and patient as God works on them. If you have not handled the messy issues or challenges in your life well in the past, then with God's help, you can begin to manage them better, starting now.
We should never waste our pain. Through the wisdom distilled in this book, we can learn how to gain something from our messes, use those insights to avoid trouble in the future, and share our experiences to help other people find blessings in the midst of their messes.
