Who’s That In The Mirror?
Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see?
I sure as hell didn’t. We will all always be a work in progress. But, the one thing I can attest for is, it becomes a lot easier to love yourself the longer and more efficiently you dedicate yourself towards a life of self-improvement and your recovery.
As long as I can remember, I’ve always had at least one, if not multiple problem areas that fogging my vision on who I saw starring back at me.
And I didn’t like her.
I saw the empty shell of person. One who lost the light in her due to years of hard drug and alcohol use. I saw the worthless woman that men illustrated was undeserving of being loved properly. I saw the awkwardly shaped tall girl, that never seemed to get skinner, or look anything more like her friends. I saw the scars on my arms, a daily reminder of every moment I ever hated myself. I saw the careless, less than empathetic villain, that mistreated her family. I saw the useless figure that was supposed to be a mother, that failed her child. Nothing about the person staring back at me, gave me the slightest inclination that there was any good left underneath.
You have to learn to forgive yourself for doing the best with what you had and knew at the time. You have to forgive yourself for selling yourself short and allowing yourself to believe you’re not worth more in this life. You have to forgive yourself for all the ways you neglected your importance. You need to forgive yourself for all the times self-respect and dignity were lacking. And, all the times in which you excused other’s from doing the same. It’s time.
The rest is out of your hands. The only thing you have control over is how you chose to let all that has held you back thus far, now become the footstool that launches you forward.
So…
How did I get her back?
How did my perspective change?
How do I see myself today?
Much MUCH differently.
Things that I did (and still do) on a daily basis that helped me start to like me:
1.Journal Daily
2. Read Self-Help, Empowering, or Self-Improvement Books
3. Unfollowed and decluttered negative influences in real life and on social media.
4. Keep my space clean and organized. It has helped tremendously with my anxiety and depressive episodes. Cleaning also keeps my mind occupied in a productive way. I feel accomplished when I can look around and see the reward of my hard work.
5. Built a relationship with my Higher Power
6. Surrounded myself with friends, family, and my children
7. Attend regular AA and NA meetings. Got a sponsor. Regularly involved with individual counseling
9. Listen to encouraging and motivational music, podcasts, audiobooks. What you feed your mind is important.
10. Taking good care of my body. I try to spend time outside. I remain mindful of drinking water, taking my vitamins, and getting decent sleep. I gave up smoking cigarettes more recently, which was a bitch, but I feel so much better. The difference it makes when you start to take care of yourself is only something you will understand when you start to do it for yourself. When my physical body feels good, it helps me both, mentally and emotionally.
The ability to turn inward and engage in internal reflection is a precious skill that is often overlooked.
Self-awareness, in its essence, is the capacity to recognize and understand our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and the impact they have on our lives and the lives of those around us.
It's the mirror through which we examine our true selves. When you understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations, you are better equipped to set meaningful goals and make choices that align with your authentic selves. It enables you to harness your strengths and address your weaknesses, leading to personal and professional growth.
By taking the time to honestly assess our progress, identify areas of strength and weakness, and explore the underlying drivers of our thoughts and actions, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the factors that influence our well-being.
Self-awareness is an essential ingredient for healthy relationships. Understanding your own emotions and responses allows you to communicate more effectively, empathize with others, and navigate conflicts with grace and empathy. It fosters better connections, whether in personal, familial, or professional relationships.
Once we come to terms and make our way through our own bullshit, it becomes easier and almost second nature to relate, sympathize, and show understanding towards other people.
The time and strenuous effort you put into working on yourself reflects outward when you cross paths with someone else who might be falling short or going through their own difficulties.
You become able to perceive things from a much calmer, compassionate, and genuine manner. When you realize how difficult it can be to re work your own individual problems, reestablish a profound identity, and implement necessary changes for the better - you learn to be accepting when others might not be capable of doing the same thing. You learn to give leniency and grace where it is deserving. None of this shit is easy. For anyone. Now you know that.
Self-awareness is also a crucial tool in stress management. By understanding your triggers, you can better control your responses to challenging situations. You can find healthier ways to cope with stress, reducing its negative impact on your physical and mental well-being.
Being self aware helps you to break free from patterns of behavior that no longer serve you. It allows you to let go of harmful habits, make more informed decisions, and avoid repeating past mistakes. You become the architects of your life, steering your destiny in a more intentional direction.
Internal reflection and self-awareness are not self-indulgent practices but essential life skills. By making the effort to know yourself deeply, you become a more authentic, compassionate, and capable individual. You take charge of your life, nurture healthier relationships, manage stress effectively, and, ultimately, lead yourself to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.
Remember this shit is not a one-time event, but rather an ongoing process that can evolve and deepen as you continue on your recovery journey. By embracing this practice, you'll unlock the power to navigate even the most challenging of days with greater clarity, resilience, and self-compassion.
The fact that you are here, reading this is a testament of it’s own to your strength and determination. You should be proud of the progress you've made so far, no matter how small the steps may seem. You were not ever intended to fail. To stay stuck. To remain in the darkness. You hold unlimited potential, beauty, and power. Keep fighting until you regain your ability to see it. It’s there.
Let’s show one another support. In the comment section below - What distorted thought patterns or negative self-talk are you still taking part in? What are some internal conflicts that you are having a hard time letting go of ? Or better yet, what are some traits that you have grown to love about yourself that make you uniquely you?
Additional Tools & Helpful Resources:
In this comprehensive 50-page eBook, you'll delve into the core components of emotional intelligence, including self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Through insightful explanations and practical exercises, you'll gain a deep understanding of how these elements work together to shape our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being.
