Holly Jolly Holidays: Staying Sober & Sane Through The Christmas Season

I’m not sure if you heard but, it’s the most the wonderful time of year!

Ah, the holidays! A time for joy, magic, and endless commercials that make it seem like everyone else is sipping cocoa in matching pajamas while their golden retriever poses for the perfect Instagram photo.

But if you’re anything like me, and your past holidays were more train wreck than Hallmark movie, you might feel a bit overwhelmed.

I’ll be honest: when I was stuck in active addiction, the holidays lost their sparkle. Instead of enjoying the season, I spent it either excluded altogether or becoming the center of attention in the worst possible ways. (Spoiler alert: Nobody wants to be remembered as “that person” who ruined Christmas dinner.) It was exhausting—for me and everyone around me.

But things are different now. Since getting sober, the holidays have taken on a whole new meaning. These days, I mostly look forward to them. I love decking the halls, singing off-key to Christmas songs, and watching my kids light up as they experience the magic of the season. My focus is on creating memories for them that I wish I had cherished sooner.

Of course, just because I’m sober doesn’t mean I’m living in a holiday fantasy world. There are still triggers, challenging family dynamics, and moments where I want to hide in the pantry and eat an entire pie by myself. (No judgment if you do) But I’ve learned how to better navigate the chaos.

If you’re reading this and the holidays make you want to crawl under a blanket and hide until January 2nd, I get it. Social situations, family gatherings, and old triggers can be tough. But here’s the good news: with the right mindset and a few tools in your holiday survival kit, this season can be different.

QUICK TIPS for Staying Sober and Sane

1. Set Boundaries Like a Pro
Listen, you don’t have to attend every party, gathering, or cookie swap you’re invited to. Prioritize your sobriety and well-being above all else. It’s okay to say no. A simple “I’m focusing on myself right now” is enough.

2. Plan Your Exit Strategy
If you decide to attend an event, have an exit plan. Drive yourself, know the bus schedule, or have a friend on standby for a quick getaway. There’s nothing wrong with leaving early if you’re uncomfortable.

3. Bring Your Own Beverage
Avoid awkward questions or unwanted offers of eggnog spiked with who-knows-what by bringing your own non-alcoholic drink. Sparkling water, festive mocktails, or even a trusty soda work wonders.

4. Focus on the Kids (or Pets)
If you’re at a family gathering, gravitate toward the little ones or the animals. They don’t care about adult drama, and their joy is contagious. Plus, they’re usually the only ones who won’t ask invasive questions about your life choices.

5. Find Your Support System
Keep in touch with your sober tribe, whether that’s through meetings, friends, or online groups. A quick text or call can be a lifesaver when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

6. Practice Gratitude
When the stress of the season gets to you, take a moment to focus on what you’re grateful for. It sounds cheesy, but it works. Whether it’s your sobriety, your kids, or just the fact that you didn’t knock over the Christmas tree this year, celebrate your wins.

7. Start New Traditions
Replace old, unhealthy traditions with ones that bring you joy. Bake cookies, go ice skating, or have a movie marathon in your pajamas. Building new memories can help you reclaim the magic of the season.

8. Don’t Take the Bait
Family drama is a holiday staple, but you don’t have to engage. When someone pushes your buttons, take a deep breath, excuse yourself, and remember: you’re here to protect your peace.

9. Reward Yourself
The holidays can be stressful, so treat yourself for staying on track. Whether it’s a cozy night with a good book, a hot bath, or a fancy dessert, find small ways to celebrate your progress.

10. Remember Your “Why”
At the heart of it all, remind yourself why you chose sobriety in the first place. For me, it’s my kids, my health, and the life I’m building. Keeping your “why” front and center can help you stay focused and strong.

The holidays aren’t about being perfect; they’re about connection, joy, and love. If you’re sober this season, you’re already giving yourself and your loved ones the greatest gift possible. Celebrate how far you’ve come and take pride in the new traditions and memories you’re creating.

And if things don’t go perfectly? That’s okay. Even Hallmark movies have plot twists. Focus on progress, not perfection, and know that you’re doing something amazing for yourself and the people who matter most.

Happy (and sober) holidays! 🎄✨