When I first started focusing on getting sober, one of the most defeating aspects was that I expected life to conform with my decision to get clean. I wanted a job, money in my bank account, my own place, my kids back, a vehicle…I wanted it all. And, right now!

My drug and alcohol use stripped me of everything. It only made sense that my goals were set on getting it all back. The inability to control the outcome of these circumstances, on my own time, was enough to make me want to go right back to using.

What was the point? It all felt so hopeless in the beginning. I felt like I was going through hell and giving it my best to remain free of substances, yet not reaping any sort of reward. It made my desire to want to stay clean fade.

The decision to get sober comes at the expense of facing a lot of things we rather put off. Getting clean and staying clean is only the tip of the iceberg. When it comes to the rebuilding part, patience and consistency are two things you will need to get comfortable and familiar with.

Bullshit, I know.

It’s easy to get on our pity train and drag ourselves right back down into the hole we’re working on getting ourselves out of. Don’t do that to yourself.

Here’s the one thing I can promise: If you are making the conscious decision to get up every day and do the next right thing, life is going to start working in your favor.

Here are some of the things that I had to start implementing into my every day routine to get my happy ass to the next day and remain clean. Everything is hard in the beginning because it’s new. If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth it.

What’s your reason?

What is the driving force that is pushing you to want to get sober? Getting sober is not something we willingly sign ourselves up for just for the hell of it. Something drove you to this point. There has to be something that your addiction is robbing you of that you are seeking to get back or newly create for yourself.

That motivating factor is what is going to push you through the hell that comes from letting go of your old lifestyle. For me, it was my daughter. I knew I did not want her to grow up having a mother that was not present, addicted to drugs, or dead.

It was so hard knowing mentally that I wanted to get clean for her, yet because I couldn’t physically be with her every single day, it was so hard to keep the thought of her and my goals at the forefront.

The best way to stay reminded of what you’re doing this all for, is when it is right in front of your face. And, unfortunately I was unable to do that. So, I made sure my apartment/space was plastered with photos of her. I made a point to call and FaceTime practically every single day. Seeing her face helped me refocus.

I highly recommend making your goals or motivators for sobriety visible. Make a vision board and put it on your bedroom wall. Write a list of affirmations and goals and tape them to your bathroom mirror. Keep pictures of your family out on your table. Whatever you have to do to have that constant reminder for why all of this is so worth it.

Take the time to really reflect and establish your “why?” If you would like additional help I have created a free digital download that you can grab. It is a few short pages and provides questions that really help you breakdown the motivating factors in your recovery. Click here to download.

No matter what your reasoning is behind your desired sobriety, the moment you pinpoint it, then you can start making obtainable goals and working towards them.

self appreciation & breaking it down

I know for me, in the beginning, I felt like such a failure. I felt like for someone my age, I was so far behind in life. I felt like a failure to my family, my children, the world. I felt like I didn’t have much at all going for me.

Small strides forward need to be acknowledged. I started breaking down my days into small manageable parts. I made small realistic goals so that I felt a sense of accomplishment from checking them off throughout the day.

When I say small, I mean small. Break it down to the basics. Setting yourself up with a solid foundation is what’s going to allow you to progress forward.

Aside from abstaining from substance use, start working towards establishing a new daily routine. This can look like getting decent sleep, eating 3 meals a day, taking a shower and doing your hair and makeup. When you feel good on the inside it affects how you preform on the outside.

Be proud if you fulfill the small goals you set in place for yourself. They are worth celebrating - even if you think it sounds silly or mundane. You’re making more progress than you might think.

When you create new habits and practice them every single day and show up consistently for yourself, they become almost second nature. You’ll see when you first started this journey you struggled to get out of bed before noon, now it is your new normal to be up with the sun and have your morning cup of coffee. It gets better, when you consistently make the choice to start practicing better.

Creating a “Safe Space” at Home

I decluttered my environment, removed triggers, and added comforting elements like candles, plants, or calming music to make it a space I felt at peace in.

Journaling

Journaling gave me a safe space to start dumping out and processing all of my emotions. God knows there were plenty in the very beginning. Writing has been the outlet that allows me to get all of the things that would lead to potential relapse out on paper and seem more manageable.

When moments arose that I felt like I was ready to rip someone’s head off, or I wanted to just lock myself in my room and cry for 3 days straight - I made it a priority to journal.

Journaling has been a consistent part of my recovery since the very beginning. Sometimes, I really had to push myself to do it. But, the reward from doing so was well worth it. Journaling has helped me tremendously when it comes to my personal growth, sobriety, and emotional regulation. It has allowed me to work on taking accountability and the ability to process my thoughts and emotions on my own. It gave me a sense of control over my own life.

Another amazing thing is being able to look back on the pages I once filled with things I thought I would never overcome - to see that I did. As you will. When you are able to reflect back on past times of hardship and have tangible proof that you have overcome them, it gives you all the more motivation to continue forward despite any current circumstances.

get in touch with the man above

I’ve prayed to God more times than I can count. When life has felt out of my control, I had to make a decision to leave some things up to Him. Having faith in a power greater than yourself allows room for you to breathe. There are some things in life that we won’t have the answers to, we can’t dictate, and we can’t change. Don’t allow yourself to believe that there isn’t purpose behind it all. When you become too consumed in the things you can’t change, they end up changing you.

Finding Happiness

Might seem far out of reach at the moment, but it’s up to you to find it. It is up to you to tackle every day with a positive mindset even if things are not going in the way you’d hoped or planned. Put as much effort as you can into pulling the good out of everything. It might seem like some days there is no good to be found. I promise you - there is.

Find things to fill your time that bring you joy or can distract your mind from the things that might not be so great at the moment. This is a far better alternative than just sitting and sulking about it.

Explore new hobbies and interests. You might be surprised that something sparks your interest. Below I’ll leave a list of things you can try if you are feeling stuck and need some inso.

Setting Boundaries

Learning to say no is one of the hardest but most important skills you can start practicing early on. Prioritize your recovery over pleasing others, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Finding the right support

Lastly, one of the things that is constantly stressed in recovery is establishing your support network. This will look different for everyone. I don’t know what I would do without the people that I had in my corner when I first got sober.

When I was using I felt like I had nobody. I felt I burned all of my bridges. When I was ready to take my sobriety seriously it didn’t come with my friends and families unwavering support right out of the gate. That was a challenge I had to push through.

Over time, trust was built and relationships were repaired. I had to put my efforts into finding support elsewhere in the very beginning. This came from coworkers, a sponsor, going to meetings, and making new friends that genuinely had my best interest at heart.

It was so easy for me to want to isolate and not bother with anyone, but at the end of the day when I hit some rough patches, it was going to meetings and having some honest conversations with those I turned to, that helped push me through. It was the reminder that I needed that I wasn’t alone. And, sometimes just that alone can make all the difference.

If I can be of any help please know that you are always welcome to send me a message through our contact page. Below I will link a few additional resources for those interested that are of great value. I’m wishing you all well as you move along your journey. For what it’s worth, I am so proud of you! You’ve got this shit!

If you could use additional help with breaking down the steps in establishing a new daily routine click here to download our free checklist. This checklist will help you to stay focused on your goals, sobriety, and well-being. Track your progress, note activities, and help alleviate the stress of making it through another day sober. You can do this. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Discover your 'why' for getting sober with these free, guided worksheets. Dive deep into your motivations, set meaningful intentions, and uncover the driving force behind your journey to recovery. This resource will help you stay focused, inspired, and aligned with your goals every step of the way. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

FREE DIGITAL DOWNLOAD ESTABLISHING YOUR WHY FOR GETTING SOBER

Kickstart your recovery journey with The First 30 Days Worksheet Bundle, a comprehensive 100+ page digital resource designed to support you through the critical early stages of sobriety. This thoughtfully curated collection includes tools, exercises, and guidance to help you navigate cravings, build healthy habits, and stay motivated one day at a time. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD